Lucky’s Story

Lucky, Living with HIV, Shares His Message: Look for a Silver Lining

One thing you realize when talking to Lucky is that there are some recurring themes, and they all relate to his nickname. Lucky. Blessed. Positive thinking. Looking on the bright side. Finding the silver lining.

Five years ago is when Lucky got his nickname. He was involved in a terrible motorcycle accident that changed his life. For his birthday, he’d decided to go camping in Northern Arizona and finally visit the Grand Canyon. He was hit by a van, and his next memory was of being on a helicopter and being taken to a hospital in Flagstaff. He’s been in pain and on disability since then, but Lucky talks about finding “the silver lining beyond those grey skies.”  It’s a theme that carries over to him finding out he has HIV, too.

Lucky moved to Tucson 10 years ago from Chicago. “Moving here was the smartest decision I ever made in my life,” he says. “Thanks to family and to TIHAN too, I have created a life that I don’t need a vacation from.” HIV, chronic pain, disability, financial challenges, but Lucky considers himself fortunate.

“I’ve survived when so many of my friends who have experienced motorcycle accidents didn’t,” he shares. That accident also led him to Bikers for Christ, which has become an important part of his support system.

Lucky’s years before arriving in Tucson included family challenges, prison time, and a painful separation from his ex-wife and kids. He spent time in prison for doing what he felt was protecting his children, but he knows now it wasn’t the best way to do so. He was locked up for taking his kids without having legal custody. Prison was made worse by losing his mother and two of his grandparents while he was serving time. But, Lucky says, he was able to study and obtain his associate degree while incarcerated. By volunteering to work waxing floors every night, he was released early for “good behavior.” His positive outlook shines through.

When he was released from prison in 1999, Lucky worked on the roof crew of a union, building houses. He met a woman and started dating. She was a heroin addict and an alcoholic. “We had some things in common, but looking back, she was in bad shape. I guess I thought I was helping her out.” Eventually, after they split, he heard that she had HIV. “She never told me, but her friends told me. I think that’s how I got HIV. After I heard those rumors, I went and got tested and found out I was positive. Hit me hard. Back then it was even more serious. Everyone thought it was a death sentence. I had to be very ‘hush-hush’ about it. I felt very shameful, and I had to be very secretive about my HIV. That is, until I came to Tucson and got connected with you guys (TIHAN). I was very lucky.”

He moved to Tucson to be with his aunt and uncle. Their support has been transformative for Lucky. “It was great being together with family again, and re-establishing a good relationship with my ex-wife, my son, and my two grandchildren. Even after my uncle passed away, there have been so many blessings,” he says. I really believe in the power of prayer, and there was a time my aunt and I were in serious financial straits, and then some miracles happened, and our prayers were answered. I really feel like my life now is so good.”

In addition to the support of his aunt, TIHAN has been an important component of making him happy, especially our Poz Café lunch and social event. He loves the food and also the raffle prizes and bingo prizes that TIHAN donors contribute. “We’ve won a microwave, a cordless vacuum, so many things over the years. It’s amazing. And I love meeting new friends there. I’ve met a couple who are also positive, and we have become very good friends. Good food, good people of faith helping out, great volunteers. I end up feeling good about living with HIV, instead of feeling ashamed of it.”

With his disability income at $704/month, Lucky shares that the CarePackages from TIHAN really make a difference, and the holiday support in past years has been very helpful. This year, during COVID, the extra meals and the gift cards to assist with food expenses have been especially useful to him. “I’ve received a $50 gift card for food from TIHAN two months in a row. I love you guys for that! It really helps a lot.”

Lucky got connected to TIHAN because he saw a flyer when he was at SAAF one day for an appointment with his case manager. That was nine years ago. As someone who identifies as heterosexual, it took Lucky some time to get adjusted to being around gay people in the HIV community. “I wasn’t used to that. It was new for me. Now, it’s no big deal and I feel comfortable around everyone.”

Lucky’s HIV is now suppressed – at the level considered “undetectable.” He remembers the early days of his diagnosis, when the medications were limited and not always very effective. He’s grateful for the advancements and the medical care he gets from El Rio. Because of the importance of oral hygiene in keeping the immune system healthy, dental care is a priority for people living with HIV. Lucky was amazed that he was able to qualify for dental work that he would otherwise never been able to take care of. “Another silver lining,” he says.

Lucky is grateful that he’s re-establishing a relationship with his ex-wife, son, and grandkids, even though due to COVID he hasn’t been able to see them recently.

What would he tell someone who has been newly diagnosed with HIV and is sitting in that place he remembers of feeling isolated and ashamed?  ”I’d tell them about the surprise of seeing doctors really caring about you and being on top of your health and helping you to get healthier. You can get on these meds and have stable health and be undetectable.

He continues, “I’d tell them that, believe it or not, some people really do care. I’d tell them you don’t have to tell anyone about your HIV if you don’t want to, but there are people who will support you. I’d tell them that there can a bright side to this, which I never knew. And I’d tell them that, because of my HIV, I take better care of myself than I did before. It can be a challenge, but stay positive and with time you can live a happy life. Maybe there could be a silver lining. Maybe you can be like me. I just turned 56 in July. Today, I can live, laugh, love, and that’s a blessing.”

Lucky gives credit to TIHAN for helping him, and shares his gratitude with our volunteers and donors and staff who make the support possible. “You all have helped me so much,” he says. “You’ve given me the green light to live again.”

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