Luis’ Story

Luis’ Passion for Helping People, and How Important TIHAN is to His Family

In the 1980s–before TIHAN existed, Luis was helping promote HIV awareness and raising funds for AIDS support programs. In the early 1990s, Luis put his time and talents to use, and helped raise funds for our programs as TIHAN formed. Little did he realize then that the organization that he was helping to build a foundation for would eventually help his own family—his brother who would be diagnosed with HIV, as well as himself when Luis tested positive too.

“One of my passions has always been to help people,” he relates. When Luis won the Miss Gay Tucson pageant, Cristina de Alexis (his drag name) had a platform to raise funds for HIV.  One of the shows he remembers most fondly was his “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” benefit for TIHAN. “It was three benefits all in one night:  a drag show, a 50/50 raffle, and an auction,” he recalls. “I don’t remember how much we raised that night, but I still have the video of the show, and I remember we were so happy it was a great success.”

As is still true today, TIHAN relied on community donations, including fundraising benefits organized by community members. Funds and visibility raised by Luis and Tucson’s drag community helped build TIHAN’s foundation in our first decade. In 2000, when Luis’ brother Beto got sick and passed away, TIHAN was there for the family during a heartbreaking time.  “The support from TIHAN meant so much to our family,” he remembers.

Almost a decade and a half later, TIHAN had continued to grow and serve more people.  It was 2014, and Luis started feeling his lymph nodes were swollen. “I felt something just wasn’t right with my body. I knew I needed to go get tested.”

When his test came back positive for HIV, Luis knew he needed to tell his parents immediately, and his partner. “My parents were concerned about me, especially having lost my brother already to his disease,” he says. “But so much progress had been made in terms of the effectiveness of medications, and once they realized that, we could all breathe a little easier. With much better medications and less HIV stigma, the outlook for someone with HIV was dramatically different than 2000 when Beto died.”

Luis knew his partner Bill was going to be supportive, regardless of the outcome of the test.  “He told me, ’I’m going to love you the same, whether you are positive or negative,’” Luis relates. After Luis got his positive results, Bill went to get tested, and he too tested positive.

“We realized quickly that, with a good medication regimen, a good healthcare team, and support from family and organizations like TIHAN, we can live well with HIV,” he shares.

Within a matter of months, both Luis and Bill got confirmation that the medications were working–having suppressed their HIV viral load to the hoped-for “undetectable” level, meaning their immune systems are strong and their prognosis is great.

Luis and Bill reached out to TIHAN, the organization Luis had helped to get its start.  “TIHAN’s Link Specialist volunteers have been such an important part of our support system,” he says. Luis really appreciates the CarePackages and the toilet tissue and all the other items they include.  He was also impressed with TIHAN’s Living Well with HIV program, especially the budgeting class. “That Planning Well class really gave me tools to help navigate financial issues, and to plan better so I can make it from month to month,” he tells us.

“And the Poz Café lunch and the holiday events are so important, giving us a sense of being part of a community–without stigma,” he says. “We all need to express ourselves, and share our experiences with each other in an open environment and not be judged.”

The Poz Café lunch and social events have taken on extra-special meaning for Luis and his family. Luis and Bill usually bring Luis’ parents as their guests for the lunch, and their parents have become special friends for many of TIHAN’s CarePartners living with HIV, including many who marvel at such loving and supporting parents—something the opposite of the experiences of many.

Luis’ mother Betty was absent from Poz Café for several months, and Luis’ peers were concerned. She’d been hospitalized and diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney failure.  Once her health stabilized and she and Luis’ father were able to return to Poz Café, it was a beautiful reunion.

Once the coronavirus pandemic began, and TIHAN’s Poz Café had to transition to contact-free meal deliveries, supplemented by 2,000 more emergency meals, Luis was especially grateful for the extra food. He’s now spending his days as a caregiver, giving his mom home hemodialysis five days a week. “The extra meals from TIHAN meant I didn’t have to cook on those days, and they really were a blessing,” he says. “Once again, my TIHAN family has my back.  Always wanting to help. I have to say that the culture at TIHAN really makes an HIV diagnosis much more bearable. That personal attention. The true one-on-one caring.  That really makes a big difference. To me, to my partner, to my parents, to my family and my community. Thank you.”

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