David’s Story

Graced with a Strong Support System and a Deep Faith, David Takes On Cancer, HIV, and Racism

David shares his story in a matter-of-fact manner, full of passion and positivity. He spoke to us about three important components of his life right now: cancer, which he’s been dealing with for eight years; HIV, which he was diagnosed with 24 years ago; and racism, with which he’s had to deal all of his life. But David’s story is also filled with a supportive family, a deep faith, and support from TIHAN—all of which have helped him reach the age of 60, which he never thought would happen.

David tested positive for HIV in 1996 in Baltimore when he was hospitalized with some opportunistic infections. He wasn’t shocked by the news. He was suffering from PTSD after losing his father and his brother back-to-back. He’d been using marijuana and cocaine, and not always practicing safer sex. He realized he probably had HIV long before he got the test results.

As soon as he found out, David shared the news with this mother.

She had known about his sexuality after he came out to her at the age of 17. Her understanding and support of him never wavered. The stigma attached to HIV, which continues today, was even more pronounced in 1996. David slipped into a depression after testing positive, and says he went “buckwild” with drugs for a while as a way of coping with the diagnosis.

In 1998, David moved to Tucson to be with his sister who was a community leader with an AIDS service organization, PACT for Life. In 2005, he connected with TIHAN’s support services, changed his habits, and started more actively addressing his HIV and taking control of his life. He found a church home and met some good people. “The good services and the love that was shown to me were amazing.”

David participated in groups at SAAF, as well as TIHAN’s Poz Café lunch and social event. “Poz Café was very important in my journey. The association with other positive brothers and sisters was very therapeutic for me. It’s been a blessing and an honor to meet so many different kinds of people and breaking bread with them.”

David loves the holiday party, and our classes on Living Well with HIV and Eating Well. “The programs and events are great, but it’s the love and compassion from some of the staff and volunteers that really impacted me, and the great people I met.”

Some very meaningful support TIHAN provided to David was after he discovered the body of his best friend Michael at his home. TIHAN’s care and compassion shined through, he said.  “After he passed, I needed to find a church home that was more supportive of me during my time of loss. I reached out to TIHAN and you helped make that connection.  You all stood up for me, and gave me support during that tragic time.”

In 2012, another challenge was brought into David’s life. Cancer. “I have a family history of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. I always wondered if I would get them. I look at it that I was blessed to have only have one of those three conditions.” His cancer was well-managed for several years, but last fall, it was time for David to undergo chemo and radiation. “The radiation was grueling, and I’m still healing from that.” Recently, a pet scan showed a new and concerning spot near David’s spine. He’s waiting for more tests to see what that is, and what treatments might be required. His faith remains strong.

During this COVID-19 pandemic, TIHAN’s support has been especially meaningful to David.  In addition to emergency meal support and CarePackages, David requested check-in calls.

“I get a weekly call from a TIHAN volunteer who just checks in on me. A pleasant hello.  Double-checking to make sure my food arrived.  Seeing how I’m doing. It’s just a genuine call, and it makes me feel better that someone remembers me, even if I am feeling down-and-out on a particular day. And it’s a pleasant reminder of the love and support that is here in Tucson.”

Today, David is doing what he can to avoid getting COVID-19, but it’s the killings and the protests that are weighing most heavily on his mind and heart. “This killing of black people is still happening, and it hurts to see it.  We need more empathy in this world. I watched a video the other day where a white professor asked her class of mostly white college students: ‘how many of you wouldn’t mind being black in our world today?’  Not a single person raised their hand. Even if people don’t want to admit how much racism exists, people know it deep in their heart, because they wouldn’t want to be black because they know it’s just wrong how we are being treated too often.”

George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Ahmaud Arbery. They’re on David’s mind. “And there are a lot more killings and forms of racism that aren’t so publicized. We need more empathy in our world today, for all of us. I see Asian people being blamed for the coronavirus. I see discrimination against Hispanics too, and especially among Native Americans. We need more empathy.”

The people of TIHAN, he says, are among those who “get it.” “I’ve seen it through my own experiences at TIHAN. People who understand and who have empathy.  They might not have gone through what I have, but they have understanding and can relate.”

“Racism is evil. Some people are evil, but there are also angels on this planet. I know the world is gonna get worse, but then it’s gonna get better. And it’s gonna get better through people getting more empathy, and that happens through teaching, and talking, and discussing what we’re all going through.”

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